3 Ninjas: High Noon at Mega Mountain is a very 90’s movie in the worst way possible. The original 3 Ninjas films were well received since the 1990’s was a breeding ground for martial arts films but this fourth film in the franchise is a laugh-fest of the bunch and not because it is a terrific comedy but from how hilariously bad it is. This movie is super cheesy and has one of the weirdest motifs for a group of villains I have ever seen. Who could have imagined Hulk Hogan in a bad movie?
The movie begins with our 3 child ninja heroes, Rocky, Colt, and Tum Tum being tested by their Asian grandfather. I specifically state that he is Asian because even though he is the grandfather of these three 3, he is the only Asian person in the movie even though he claims he is the father of the boy’s mom who is nowhere near being Asian. After the test/training sequence, we see a carrier boat in the middle of the ocean with a group of people we have not yet been introduced to packing guns into their bags and then it cuts back to the boys arriving home without an explanation of who those people were. Tum Tum is watching his favorite hero on TV, Dave Dragon (Hulk Hogan), and he finds out his last performance is going to take place at Mega Mountain amusement park. We cut back to the boat and we now find out they are terrorists planning to highjack Mega Mountain for some ransom money setting up the conflict of the movie.
Once at the park, the 3 kids and the girl next door they just met are having fun in the park. We then see a group of men jet skiing towards the park. Once the terrorists are revealed, I noticed something blatantly obvious right away, the people we literally just saw on the jet skis in the previous scene are not the same actors that play the terrorist group. The jet skiers were all men and had a military look but the terrorists consist of Medusa (Loni Anderson) and Lothar Zogg (Jim Varney), an over the top stereotypically Jamaican man and a heavy-set guy. We then find out what their terrorist demands are. Once they gain access to the control room of the amusement park, they state they will hijack the park and hold everyone in the park hostage unless they get $10 million. The same terrorist group who used jet skis, have a bunch of guns with ammunition and were using a carrier boat, which is probably cost close to $10 million on its own, highjack an amusement park of all things and just ask for $10 million. Also, with all the guns they brought with them to accomplish their mission, you would think they would threaten to shoot everyone but instead they just threaten to make the rides either go really fast or stop completely.
Once Dave Dragon is captured, it is up to the 3 ninjas and their tech-savvy new neighbor to save everyone in Mega Mountain. The fight scenes with the ninjas aren’t bad but when we get to the laughable gun fights between the police and the terrorist is when the movie starts going in the laugh out loud direction. You also notice that the background characters do not act like anything is happening. When the police come, you can see people walking out of the park even though the terrorist claim they shut down the park and it seems like all the workers in the park are still there doing their jobs. Nothing really seems like it is in much danger in the film so that really takes away from the threat of the terrorist in the film.
This film was a bad way to end the 3 Ninjas franchise filled with bad writing, corny 90’s jokes that did not age well and a group of the most non-dangerous villains of any film. One of the biggest draws of the movie is Hulk Hogan and his character was completely wasted since he spends most his screen time being held hostage by the terrorist group. Three little children fight grown men who are using deadly guns and swords. There’s a crowd of amusement park attendees and employees who could care less about a terrorist attack and a useless Hulk Hogan gives 3 Ninjas: High Noon at Mega Mountain a spot on my list of bad reels. I would highly recommend watching this movie with some childhood friends and look back at the horrible parts of the 90’s.
